R U OK? Day 2026: Why Listening Matters More Than Having Answers

Thursday, September 10 marks R U OK? Day, Australia’s annual national day of action for mental health. New research from the R U OK? charity reveals one in three Australians underestimate how much difference a single question can make, even though the vast majority of people who have been asked say they felt supported. The day began in 2009 when Gavin Larkin honoured his father Barry, who died by suicide in 1995, by encouraging Australians to ask each other if they are okay.

The number one mistake when asking if someone is okay

Practising psychologist Sandy Rea told nine.com.au that knowing what to say is not the most important part of the conversation. Instead, she said the focus should be on listening. Many people fear asking ‘R U OK?’ because they believe they won’t know how to handle the answer or be expert enough to deal with distress. But as a friend or colleague, all you have to do is be a set of ears. You don’t have to have the answers.

How to have the conversation: the ALEC model

The R U OK? model uses the acronym ALEC to guide conversations. A stands for asking are you okay, L for listening to that person, E for encouraging action, and C for checking in afterwards. The message is so important because you don’t have to be the expert or psychologist. It’s about helping that person find the support they need and encouraging them to talk to a friend, family member or professional.

Why one conversation is not enough

New research from R U OK? shows most organisations treat the day as a once-a-year event rather than a habit. Julie-Anne Whitfield, workplace program manager at R U OK?, said year-round support is built through trust, good work design, capable leaders, and regular human check-ins. The difference between performative wellbeing and genuine support is where the care is embedded into everyday work, not just on one day in September.

What to do if someone is struggling

Dr Anne Fardell Hartley, principal psychologist and R U OK? board member, said to trust your gut and check in if a colleague doesn’t seem themselves. If they are struggling, help connect them with the right support and check in again afterwards. Avoid trying to fix the problem or jumping straight to advice. If you feel your friend is at risk of self-harm, take them to a GP, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or simply sit and stay with them.

Final Thoughts

R U OK? Day reminds Australians that a genuine conversation can change a life. The key is listening without judgment and connecting people with support, not having all the answers. Make asking if someone is okay a year-round habit, not just a September ritual.

FAQs

Disclaimer:

The content shared by Meyka AI PTY LTD is solely for research and informational purposes.  Meyka is not a financial advisory service, and the information provided should not be considered investment or trading advice.